You can learn to ride a bike from your father, and he can also show you how to change a tire, among many other things. They offer a supportive hand to hold and a solid shoulder to cry on, all while making dad jokes, which are known for their unique sense of humor. Do you know what dad jokes are? Dads are the finest at providing that groan-worthy, pun-filled, can’t-help-but-laugh brand of humor. There are certainly mom jokes and jokes aimed at children, but we simply cannot help but smile when we hear one-liners from dear old dad.
Use these hilariously bad-but-good dad jokes as Father’s Day captions to make your grandfather smile this year.
Best Corny Dad Jokes
- “I’m afraid for the calendar. Its days are numbered.”
- “My wife said I should do lunges to stay in shape. That would be a big step forward.”
- “Why do fathers take an extra pair of socks when they go golfing?” “In case they get a hole in one!”
- “Singing in the shower is fun until you get soap in your mouth. Then it’s a soap opera.”
- “What do a tick and the Eiffel Tower have in common?” “They’re both Paris sites.”
- “What do you call a fish wearing a bowtie?” “Sofishticated.”
- “How do you follow Will Smith in the snow?” “You follow the fresh prints.”
- “If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring?” “Pilgrims.”
- “I thought the dryer was shrinking my clothes. Turns out it was the refrigerator all along.”
- “Dear Math, grow up and solve your own problems.”
- “How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Ten tickles.”
- “I have a joke about chemistry, but I don’t think it will get a reaction.”
- “What concert costs just 45 cents? 50 Cent featuring Nickelback!”
- “What does a bee use to brush its hair?” “A honeycomb!”
Best One-Liner Dad Jokes
- “I used to be addicted to soap, but I’m clean now.”
- “A guy walks into a bar…and he was disqualified from the limbo contest.”
- “You think swimming with sharks is expensive? Swimming with sharks cost me an arm and a leg.”
- “When two vegans get in an argument, is it still called a beef?”
- “I ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon. I’ll let you know…”
- “Do you wanna box for your leftovers?” “No, but I’ll wrestle you for them.”
- “That car looks nice but the muffler seems exhausted.”
- “Shout out to my fingers. I can count on all of them.”
- “If a child refuses to nap, are they guilty of resisting a rest?”
- “What country’s capital is growing the fastest?” “Ireland. Every day it’s Dublin.”
- “A cheeseburger walks into a bar. The bartender says, ‘Sorry, we don’t serve food here.'”
- “I once got fired from a canned juice company. Apparently, I couldn’t concentrate.”
Best Dad Jokes Puns
- “What do you call a fake noodle?” “An impasta.”
- “What do you call a belt made of watches?” “A waist of time.”
- “What happens when a strawberry gets run over crossing the street?” “Traffic jam.”
- “What do you call two monkeys that share an Amazon account?” “Prime mates.”
- “What do you call a pony with a sore throat?” “A little hoarse.”
- “Where do math teachers go on vacation?” “Times Square.”
- “Whenever I try to eat healthy, a chocolate bar looks at me and Snickers.”
- “What does garlic do when it gets hot?” “It takes its cloves off.”
- “What’s a robot’s favorite snack?” “Computer chips.”
- “How much does it cost Santa to park his sleigh?” “Nothing, it’s on the house.”
- “I wouldn’t buy anything with velcro. It’s a total rip-off.”
- “What’s an astronaut’s favorite part of a computer? The space bar.”
- “I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport. I’m just doing it for kicks!”
- “Why are elevator jokes so classic and good? They work on many levels.”
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